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It occurs to me that not everyone has yet come across the Twitter feed of Donaeld the Unready and associated accounts. There is a growing collection of these, all interlinked from different viewpoints, and they are particularly perfect for the SCAdian -- of-the-moment political satire, all framed in terms of Anglo-Saxon England. I think my current faves are the political tapestries of Wulfgar the Bard. Check it out...

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[Thanks to Steffan for pointing this one out.]

For those who haven't come across it yet, *especially* if you're a foodie, I commend Brooklyn Bar Menus. It's a fine bit of ridiculousness.

(I started giggling when I got to, "free-range water, sublimated eggplant & locally-sourced farfalle"...)
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Surely, I can't be the only game geek who looked at this XKCD comic, and immediately started wondering how that game would work. It's weirdly tempting to try and figure out hybrid rules that actually function...
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Although I generally consider myself to have completely moved in with Kate, that ignores one little detail: the roughly 200 boxes that are in the basement and storage. So part of my daily routine these days is spending 30-60 minutes unpacking something. Lately, it's mostly been boxes of random papers. This is quite a treasure trove -- while I am deliberately throwing out the majority of it, I'm finding delights on a regular basis.

One of them is this. There's no attribution, but I probably wrote it -- it's certainly my style. (Especially the parenthetical in the middle.) If I had to guess a date, it would probably be Christmas 2000: from context, it clearly was during Trenza (my Crazy Bubble Company), which was seeking funding right around then. (We didn't ever find it -- I eventually quit when they asked the employees to stay on at half-salary while they tried to talk AOL into buying us.)

Anyway, it's rather fun -- one of my better pieces, IMO -- and worth preserving. And as my next company moves to Alpha, it somehow seems appropriate. So here it is -- feel free to share...

'Twas the Night Before Funding

Mark Waks, circa 2000

Twas the night before funding, and all through the cubes,
Not a creature was stirring, 'neath flourescent tubes.
The demos were rigged and the movies prepared,
So Patrick and Bob could go show off our wares.

The hackers were sitting there, still quite awake,
All fragging their friends in the levels of Quake.
When noises distracted me from playing Hack; it
Caused me to look and see what was the racket.

I ran to the skylight, and to my surprise,
A copter was coming down from the night skies.
And then he emerged, in the moonlight so clear,
The man who could only be our financier.

And out, just to make sure that we weren't crooks,
Came eight small accountants, each one bearing books.
They ran off before him, and all came inside,
And checked all the ledgers while I heard him cry,
"Now, Checkbook! Now, Spreadsheet! Now, Ballpoint and Quill!
On, Income! On, Debit! On Invoice and Bill!
Now into the files, the numbers you'll crunch,
Then, diligence done, you may all go to lunch."

They finished the books and all scampered away,
And the Man Himself entered to give his okay.
And I saw from the small Netscape tie-tack he wore,
That this man with the money was none but St. Doerr.

(At this point, I should interject that I don't actually know much about John Doerr, so this description probably isn't accurate. But he seems to be the appropriate mythological figure for this poem.)

He was dressed all in wool, in a Brooks Brothers suit,
The pockets a-bulging with stockmarket loot.
A bundle of options were held in his hand,
To exercise if all should go as we planned.
His handshake was firm, and his voice was most clear,
Assuring us we'd have the cash for next year.

He ran round the cube-farm, dispensing advice,
On how we should market, and what's a fair price.
He filled all our notebooks with wisdom on high,
On how valuations can reach to the sky.

And then, as his Palm Pilot gave out a beep,
He rose through the skylight in one mighty leap.
Back into the copter, with bookkeepers eight,
So his next appointment would not come too late.

Yet then in a panic, I realized one fact:
His signature was not upon the contract!
But I heard him exclaim, as the copter set sail,
"Don't worry about it -- the check's in the mail!"
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Thanks to Aaron for pointing me at this obituary, which may set some sort of record for tongue-in-cheek. My initial reaction was, "are we *sure* this isn't an Onion article?", but it sounds like, no, this is just the way he wanted to be remembered...
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I'm starting to seriously clear the house. It is *full* of boxes and papers and cruft, and I am beginning to realize that, if I'm going to actually list it in March, I need to get cracking on clearing stuff. So today's focus is going through miscellanea and making the fast separation: Keep, Discard, or Hold Onto For Further Study. And there's this box labeled "Library Articles".

Most of it is sadly frustrating. I clearly need to get rid of it, because I have *no* use for it myself. I'm hoping that I can find some school somewhere that would be interested in it (Simmons, maybe?), because it's a fascinating archive of the history of online librarianship, from the early days in the mid-80s. Jane clipped a vast number of articles about solo librarianship, research and search over many years, with the result that you can study much of the history of the field just from the contents of this one box.

I'm only keeping the bits that are exceptionally interesting or personal. Some of that is the humor -- random library-related cartoons and the like.

And then there is the ANSI Standard. An innocuous little pamphlet, very official, of ANSI Standard K100.1-1974:
Safety Code and Requirements for Dry Martinis
It's the best grin I've gotten in some time.

Read it for yourself -- the link above is to the official NISO PDF online. It's almost straight-faced at times, wandering off into beautiful excesses such as Table 1, "Maximum Permissible Olive Displacement". The best bit is the end, as they evaluate the possible mixing techniques, eventually recommending the "Radiation" method.

It's a delightful piece of silliness, and I'll be keeping it, even as I sadly deaccession a career's worth of meatier content...
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Thanks to TechCrunch for the pointer to the announcement of the MacBook Wheel. (Video, about three minutes.) As it says in the video: "The Wheel, reinvented."

(I really need to spend more time reading the Onion...)
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Thanks to TechCrunch for the pointer to the announcement of the MacBook Wheel. (Video, about three minutes.) As it says in the video: "The Wheel, reinvented."

(I really need to spend more time reading the Onion...)
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Thanks to TechCrunch for the pointer to someecards -- "when you care enough to hit send". They describe it as what you get when staff of the Onion go into the greeting-card business, and that looks about right. Nice 1950s style artwork combined with text like "Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross", "If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you" or "May your birthday be devoid of cute animals and soul-shredding wordplay". Rude, nasty, frequently funny stuff.

Not for every taste, but I suspect a number of people here will find many useful cards, and they have many hundreds to browse through...
jducoeur: (Default)
Thanks to TechCrunch for the pointer to someecards -- "when you care enough to hit send". They describe it as what you get when staff of the Onion go into the greeting-card business, and that looks about right. Nice 1950s style artwork combined with text like "Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross", "If I was your coworker, I'd sexually harass you" or "May your birthday be devoid of cute animals and soul-shredding wordplay". Rude, nasty, frequently funny stuff.

Not for every taste, but I suspect a number of people here will find many useful cards, and they have many hundreds to browse through...
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Thanks to Gundormr for a pointer to this rudely hilarious article, which vividly demonstrates the dangers of machine translation. Slightly not safe for work, due to language. (We're talking about *really* bad translations here...)
jducoeur: (Default)
Thanks to Gundormr for a pointer to this rudely hilarious article, which vividly demonstrates the dangers of machine translation. Slightly not safe for work, due to language. (We're talking about *really* bad translations here...)
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I don't know how many people are following [livejournal.com profile] chaucerhathblog; I suspect that many took a glance at it briefly, appreciated the joke, and wandered off.

I'm only paying half-attention myself, but I must commend today's mailbag entry. From the woes of Leo of Armenia to the "HOTTE COURTLIE ACCIOUN!", it's a real hoot...
jducoeur: (Default)
I don't know how many people are following [livejournal.com profile] chaucerhathblog; I suspect that many took a glance at it briefly, appreciated the joke, and wandered off.

I'm only paying half-attention myself, but I must commend today's mailbag entry. From the woes of Leo of Armenia to the "HOTTE COURTLIE ACCIOUN!", it's a real hoot...
jducoeur: (Default)
Just in case anyone hasn't seen this already (and for my future reference), I commend to you this truly delightful thread, yoinked from [livejournal.com profile] rufinia. And for that matter, the [livejournal.com profile] efw community, from which it apparently sproing...
jducoeur: (Default)
Just in case anyone hasn't seen this already (and for my future reference), I commend to you this truly delightful thread, yoinked from [livejournal.com profile] rufinia. And for that matter, the [livejournal.com profile] efw community, from which it apparently sproing...

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