The heck with the nanny state; what about the protective-custody state?

[jducoeur]

So there I was, a few days ago, driving around Cambridge, when I passed a sight that has stayed uncomfortably with me. It was a neat line of small children on the sidewalk, each maybe four years old. (I'm bad with ages: small, but big enough to be walking down the sidewalk escorted.) The line was neat because they were attached to a pair of ropes -- each child's wrist was tied into the rope, and each rope had an adult at the front and back, with about six kids between them.

My inner engineer marveled at the simple efficiency of this solution for keeping a dozen children safe while walking down a busy city sidewalk. But my inner sociologist squirmed uncomfortably.

Mind, the kids didn't seem to mind: their eyes were wandering hither and yon as they walked, largely ignoring their right hand held up slightly by the rope. But that's kind of the point -- children at that age learn from everything happening to them. So I have to wonder: what does this teach?

I confess, I find it creepy as all hell. The implicit message seems to be that captivity is right and appropriate, so long as it is intended to keep you safe. I suspect that most people would word that differently, but many would agree with it in spirit. It makes my skin crawl.

To understand a person, it's often best to understand their formative literature. If you want to understand me, I commend the novelette With Folded Hands, by Jack Williamson. (The basis for the followup novel The Humanoids.) It's fairly old (I confess, I last read it decades ago), but perhaps even more than 1984 it shaped much of my political philosophy. If the above scene does *not* make you squirm, the story might help you understand why it does me...

Comments

[calygrey.livejournal.com]

You haven't been a parent. There are many times, many situations where very small children are, quite rightfully, physically restrained.

Walk with even one 4 year old, and the good sense of using the rope becomes very quickly apparent. It's that or confine them to a stroller...or never take them anywhere. It's much easier to never take them out at all. Which solution is best?

[celiskywalker.livejournal.com]

While it is true that I have not been a parent, I was 13 years old when my sister was born and my mother was too depressed to take care of her. She went nearly everywhere with me after school for all of my high school years. If she couldn't behave herself she got carried. I wasn't walking around the streets of Boston or Cambridge with her, but I was walking around parking lots and malls and whatnot. There were rules for situations, hold my hand in the parking lot for instance. She was watched extra when we introduced new rules. New rules were tested in relatively safe environments (like the parking lot to a relatively quiet family owned grocery store before taking her to the crowded/crazy mall).

Whether my attitude would be different if it were my kid versus my sister, I don't know. And it would certainly be different with larger groups of children whom I don't know how far they can be trusted so to speak.

Maybe things have changed in the 15 years since my sister was 2.

[calygrey.livejournal.com]

Your methods sound very much like how I dealt with my two when they were 1-5. Keeping other people's children safe always terrifies me.

I've seen photos of solutions like the looped rope and giant buggies/wagons of toddlers all the way back to the 20's. I'd supposed toddlers haven't changed since then. Or since ever.

[celiskywalker.livejournal.com]

Other people's children are always a giant 'what if'. What will they do, what won't they do. Definitely terrified me when I babysat others.

[tashabear.livejournal.com]

This is why my mom leashed us. We had a leather harness with a leash attached to the center back, and I don't recall it being uncomfortable in any way. For my part, I wouldn't be carried and I wouldn't hold her hand, and this was before small, easily maneuverable strollers were available. When someone confronted her about it, my mom just said, "I'd rather leash her than lose her," and went about her business.

[sabinade.livejournal.com]

This. Not all children will be safe or stay in safety guidelines. It isnt in their makeup.

[jducoeur]

Hmm. So is the appropriate reaction to assume that *none* will do so, and thus push all to the lowest common denominator? And what are the side-effects of that assumption?

Keep in mind, as mentioned elsethread, much of this is plain and simply *not* the way many of us were brought up, and we did survive. What are the effects on the children who *would* have learned responsibility if they were given some of it?

That's really the heart of my qualm here: learning how to care for yourself is a critical lifelong survival skill, and it starts early. I am admittedly not a parent, but among the kids in my community (and there are a lot of those), the ones who are taught as much responsibility as they can handle early seem to usually be the ones who come out as the best adults...

[eudociainboston.livejournal.com]

Yup. I got onto it recently with someone in the library parking lot who saw my then 22 month old on a leash and made a negative comment. I was already not feeling well and in a bad mood since said toddler had tried to run in front of a car while we were walking in so I kind of let them have it. The basic jist was I was ill, with 30% of my lung function, physically incapable of running and recovering from surgery and likely to remain quite ill for the foreseeable future (including the very real possibility of requiring a double lung transplant)so if keeping the girl on a leash meant that we could have small outings during the summer instead of being stuck inside on beautiful low humidity days then I was going to do what I needed to do and really I didn't need to deal with their snarky, judgmental comments.
Making the other person cry was not my intent but hopefully next time they will keep their comments to themselves.