Happiness doesn't exist (kind of)

[jducoeur]

My thanks to mindways for the pointer to this fine exposition of the heart of Buddhism. While it's by no means the complete be-all and end-all, this nicely summarizes one of the most central tenets. It's very unintuitive to most folks, because it is *so* contradictory to our upbringing, but more and more I've found it to be quite correct...

Comments

The joy of growth

[andrea habura (from livejournal.com)]

Generally, I agree with this, but something has always bothered me about Buddhism: the discounting of the joy of stretching yourself. In the short term, in increases unease, because you are moving from a place of comfort and balance to one that is less secure. But there is a deep pleasure in meeting that challenge and growing thereby. And I believe that's an important part of life, too.

Re: The joy of growth

[jducoeur]

Actually, I think this is a misunderstanding, albeit a common one -- indeed, I had a similar conversation over in mindways' journal from whence the pointer came.

The key thing is, Buddhism isn't about avoiding sources of discomfort, it's about growing out of the *mindset* of discomfort. That is, dukkha is rarely if ever caused solely by the outside world -- usually, it is more due to how we *perceive* the world and how we relate to it. It has an awful lot to do with how we get our egos bound up in stuff, both good and bad, that turns those things into sources of dukkha.

So the Buddhist attitude (as I understand it, cautioning that I'm still a relative novice here) would say that there is nothing at all wrong with stretching yourself in these ways -- indeed, that the interesting question is *why* stretching yourself is causing discomfort. That usually is due to issues of self-image: excessive attachment to ideas about your own identity. Conquering those false (and often negative) attachments is key to removing the barriers, and letting yourself grow more naturally and easily.

In other words, Buddhism tends to focus on the unease itself, and ask why growth is causing unease in the first place. *That* is the real problem to be overcome, making growth easier and more natural.

Mind, this isn't to say that growth comes without pain or effort. The conversation on the other journal brought up the straightforward example of exercise (a nicely simple analogue to your point), which may require pain in order to improve oneself. But that sort of pain isn't dukkha -- viewed properly, it just plain doesn't *matter* much, and can even result in its own gentle contentment of following one's path well.

Similarly, personal growth may produce uncertainty, but that uncertainty doesn't have to be a source of dukkha -- viewed properly, the uncertainty is simply a necessary fact of life, neither to be chased nor avoided but simply accepted as part of the path. Truth to tell, this is one of the lessons I figured out relatively early, some years ago, and was key to my getting really bone-deep comfortable with the startup life.

Again, all of this goes to why "suffering" is such a poor translation of dukkha -- it just doesn't capture the right connotations. Dukkha is all about the internal world: our excessive attachments, and the way that they prevent us from simply *being* and *doing* happily...

Re: The joy of growth

[mindways]

...the discounting of the joy of stretching yourself. In the short term, it increases unease...

So far as I am aware the recommendation would not be to avoid unease by avoiding an activity. It would be to avoid unease by changing your mental state such that you no longer feel unease when you are doing that activity. You can still tackle challenges and grow; you simply do not feel unpleasant about being "out of your element".

Part of that shift in mental state involves being less *attached* to pleasures, but that in no way means you cannot *experience* them.

Re: The joy of growth

[mindways]

Oop, posted while jducoeur was posting above. Didn't mean to belabor the point!

Re: The joy of growth

[jducoeur]

Not a problem -- asynchronous posting will do that. (The advantage of Wave's see-every-character style was that it avoided this problem, although I don't think it was worth the immense distraction factor...)