jducoeur: (Default)
jducoeur ([personal profile] jducoeur) wrote2012-09-24 10:24 am
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Friday -- Special Edition: European Hotels are Weird

So, before I get into the Alhambra, it's worth a brief digression on the surprises of the hotels. This was particularly the case in Granada, although the two major items were the same at Juries in Bristol as well.

Minor Item 1: the bidet. Seriously, you'd think that a place catering to foreign business travelers would have an explanation for how to *use* the damned thing. (I mostly ignored it.)

Minor Item 2: turning on the shower. Okay, this one may not be a general European thing, it may just be that the AC Palacio (like the Conrad a few months ago) is too high-end for its own good, fond of elements that are pretty, fancy, and impractical. In this case, the big button-like knob to turn the water from "tub" to "shower". We spent about five minutes trying to get it to do *something*; I finally had to call down to the front desk and get an engineer to show me, feeling like a right idiot. Turns out that it pulls up like normal, but it is so *stiff* that I have to grasp it hard and pull so hard I worried I was going to damage the spigot; with Kate's wrist issues, she couldn't get it to work at all. Fine example of form utterly crushing function.

Really Weird 1: the shower door. The shower looks like this:

It's a bit hard to see the door, but it's the differently-colored left-hand side. Yes, it's only maybe three feet long, extending maybe two feet from the shower head.

And yes, the result was that we could not, for the life of us, figure out how this is supposed to keep all the water in the shower. This was so ineffective at Juries, I thought something was broken and reported it as such, but it was exactly the same at the AC Palacio -- we couldn't find any way to shower without soaking the floor. Even being as careful as I could, the floor still got pretty wet. I have no clue what the motivation is for this design.


Really Weird 2: your card key controls the lights. When you enter the room, you *must* do this with your key:

The card key acts as the master light switch for the room -- none of the lights work until you do this.

Now to be fair, I can see an argument for this: it's a very simple check against people leaving the lights running in the room, so it saves electricity. But it's a damned good thing that Kate's parents had demonstrated it to us at Juries, because it never would have occurred to me. And when you are entering a dark hotel room, tired from travel, the last thing you want to to spend ten minutes flailing around, trying to figure out why the lights don't work. (I'm glad that I was saved yet another Dumb American Call down to the front desk.)

On the plus side, the last weird thing about our room is that, instead of blinds, it had thick wooden shutters. These were remarkably effective, keeping the room pretty close to black until we opened them. Very useful for sleeping that first night.

Next: up to the Alhambra

[identity profile] jjaynes.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 02:35 pm (UTC)(link)
So you didn't run into the crazy 6 inch tall tub drain plug? I didn't have the shower-to-tub button come up, but all the rest, yes. I assume that Europeans either are neater shower-ers, use the shower as a handheld pointed toward the wall, or just get the floor soaked.

[identity profile] calygrey.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 02:51 pm (UTC)(link)
German hotels are not like this.

[identity profile] jjaynes.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 03:09 pm (UTC)(link)
calygrey, my experience differs. I ran into the key-lights, the half shower wall, and the unexplained bidet in Germany and Austria.

[identity profile] calygrey.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I must stay at places that are too cheap to have those things....and now I'll have a clue what to do when I do stay at one of these new-fangled rooms!

[identity profile] rufinia.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Some of the Sweidsh hotels we stayed in had the whole keycard is the lightswitch thing. It took a while to figure out.
tpau: (Default)

[personal profile] tpau 2012-09-24 03:08 pm (UTC)(link)
it is a real shower. the head has a hose and is removab le you are supposed to use it by holding it in hour hand. at all times. like you know, ar eal shower. :P
tpau: (Default)

[personal profile] tpau 2012-09-24 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
it allows you to bring the pressure close up and makes gettign the shampoo out super fast

[identity profile] fenicedautun.livejournal.com 2012-09-25 01:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Refer back to my bad wrists, and you'll see why I don't (and sometimes can't) do that. I really couldn't figure out how I would keep water in the tub

[identity profile] tashabear.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 03:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I've been in hotels in the US (the Westin in Pittsburgh, for example) that have the card-activated master switch. In the ones I've been in, it's a simple detent, so any card will do the trick -- a store loyalty card will work. We'd often leave a card in there throughout our stay just to keep the AC running.

[identity profile] cristovau.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Europeans wet the floor when they shower. It is what it is. The three places I lived in the Czech Republic had no such thing as a shower curtain.

It is a point of view. When I questioned my Czech friends about it, they said the floor never got very wet, and was made to take a little bit of water. They didn't understand our concern, and found it amusing.

[identity profile] evil-macaroni.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Massive design fail!
BTW - I've seen the key card control for the lights in CA too.
dsrtao: (glasseschange)

[personal profile] dsrtao 2012-09-24 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
All of these things were universal in Australia and NZ a decade ago -- oh, and the toilets have two flush settings.

[identity profile] umbran.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 05:11 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, consider it your own personal "Demolition Man" moment. Everyone eventually runs into the Three Seashells.

[identity profile] elektra.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 05:13 pm (UTC)(link)
At least you didn't hit the "The bathroom *is* the shower" that we hit in South America. That can be annoying.

[identity profile] galaneia.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 05:18 pm (UTC)(link)
One of the hotels I stayed at in Australia with my Grandfather had the master-switch thing. It was a problem because we ended up having to leave one of our keys in it when we went out so that the AC would keep working (it was way too hot to not run it).

[identity profile] jtdiii.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 05:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I hit a shower like that in London... Except the shower was under a staiwell and the back was onlythree feet or so tall. The glass hinged inwards, you climbed in, backed up till your back pressed against the slanted wall and you then ducked in your chest as the glass door closed. Then you could finally reach the controls.

[identity profile] johno.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 05:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I had similar in several showers in B&Bs in Ireland.

[identity profile] doubleplus.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
B&B's, in my experience, tend to have added showers just for Americans; other people just take baths. This leads to some interesting installation choices.

[identity profile] doubleplus.livejournal.com 2012-09-24 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
We first encountered the card-key light control (and the dual-flush) in Finland, which is generally very energy-conscious. I didn't know it was more widespread than Northern Europe.

[identity profile] fredrickegerman.livejournal.com 2012-09-25 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
I think the card-key light control is now standard in most new hotels / renovations in Europe. I feel like I've actually run into it in the US as well, but here they actually told me what to do before I went to my room.

Showers... yeah. Be glad if the water consistently holds a single temperature. Keeping the bathroom dry? That's an extra-special bonus.

For your reading pleasure

[identity profile] etherial.livejournal.com 2012-10-18 08:51 pm (UTC)(link)
An essay on modern Italian plumbing, from a scholar of Medieval Italy.
Edited 2012-10-18 20:51 (UTC)