Physics and Felines

[jducoeur]

Experiment: feline subject J (Jedi) is in the great room at the far end of the house. Human (me) opens window W in the bedroom because it is a nice day. Measure time required for J to reach W to look out it and sniff. Time appears to be zero. Conclusion: felines can violate relativity and achieve faster-than-light speeds when sufficiently motivated.

(Yes, yes, there are other possible explanations. Jedi might be clairvoyant, for example, knowing that I am *going* to open the window, and thus has set out for the bedroom before I began opening it. Or he might be employing some form of quantum tunneling. Either way, though, it's a fine topic for future research...)

Comments

[metahacker.livejournal.com]

I know you're making a joke -- but it reminded me of a recent (dense) treatise on the very real logical fallacies some people fall for when thinking about issues like this...

[dlevey.livejournal.com]

Perhaps J is made from Thiotimoline?

[dsrtao]

Does J dissolve in water before the water is added?

My cats have bones that dissolve in sunlight.

[dlevey.livejournal.com]

It may be that in cat form it has similar predictive properties, such that the cat moves before the window is actually opened because parts of the cat extend into the near future, motivating movement *before* the window opening starts. One wonders if arresting the opening of the window before completion of the act would then cause the cat in motion to seek other sources of outside air (much like trying to prevent the wetting of pre-dissolved thiotimoline), perhaps causing the cat to pass through the (now-closed) window and thus achieving outside air anyway.

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

Some kind of tunneling, eh? Maybe that's why my cat likes to tunnel under the blankets.

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

I seem to recall, when reading the literature on this subject, that the sticky variable is going to be "sufficient motivation." What motivated him today may not be what motivates him tomorrow, and what motivates Jedi may or may not be what motivates Jezibel. I am looking at my parents feline subject, and she appears to have no motivation to do anything at all whatsoever right now.

However, if you can design an experiment that attempts to measure the sufficient motivation variable, I bet you can get funding.

[ladymacgregor.livejournal.com]

It's an alternate dimension - the Feline Dimension. Cats move into it, and can move out of it anywhere they please.

This is the same place that they are when you look ALL over the house for them, in all their favorite hiding places, and can't find them ANYwhere. You call them, and then they are suddenly in the middle of the kitchen floor answering, "Yes?"

[laurion]

Ah. Here is where you may be mistaken.

Jedi is aptly named. Combined with feline natural tendencies towards ninja abilities, you don't realize that the cat actually followed you through the house as part of your shadows, and when the window was opened, leapt out from approximately the location of your sleeves.

I assure you that if you believe yourself to have seen the cat still at the other end of the house while you were in the bedroom, that it was mere an illusion, a..., *ahem*... Jedi mind trick.

[baron-steffan.livejournal.com]

There is, of course, Prior Art. It appears that the futon/sofa in my living room may be a wormhole terminus accessible only by cats, as they frequently will appear on our laps without any discernible transit. We'll find ourselves skritching their ears without them having been in the room a moment before.

[cellio]

I await further data, particularly variation in motivation (window, can opener, pet carrier) and baseline alertness (cat snoozing in sun versus stalking other inhabitants, etc).

[cigfran-cg.livejournal.com]

As the sage Gummitch pointed out in Spacetime for Springers, it is not necessary for springers (aka felines) to transit the intervening space when going from "here" to "there".

We have long noted that cats have a different relationship to the laws of physics than most species do. For example, a friend sometime ago pointed out that, whereas inanimate objects and most lifeforms experience gravity as a constant force, felines can adjust their experience of gravity, but must maintain an average weight. Thus, at times they can virtually levitate, but then must make up for that by experiencing double their normal weight. For some reason, they seem prone to undergoing this greater gravitational acceleration while lying on a human chest or feet, or while stomping down a staircase.

[siderea]

I think this argues for the position that cats extend into several other dimension, in which they may at any given moment be moving in near-C speeds, and thus accounting for their subjective-to-4D sudden increase in mass.

[alexx-kay.livejournal.com]

I think cats are only loosely time-bound. Those times when they are staring intently at nothing (that we can see)? They're actually looking at things that used to be -- or *will* be -- in that space.