Physics and Felines

[jducoeur]

Experiment: feline subject J (Jedi) is in the great room at the far end of the house. Human (me) opens window W in the bedroom because it is a nice day. Measure time required for J to reach W to look out it and sniff. Time appears to be zero. Conclusion: felines can violate relativity and achieve faster-than-light speeds when sufficiently motivated.

(Yes, yes, there are other possible explanations. Jedi might be clairvoyant, for example, knowing that I am *going* to open the window, and thus has set out for the bedroom before I began opening it. Or he might be employing some form of quantum tunneling. Either way, though, it's a fine topic for future research...)

Comments

[cigfran-cg.livejournal.com]

As the sage Gummitch pointed out in Spacetime for Springers, it is not necessary for springers (aka felines) to transit the intervening space when going from "here" to "there".

We have long noted that cats have a different relationship to the laws of physics than most species do. For example, a friend sometime ago pointed out that, whereas inanimate objects and most lifeforms experience gravity as a constant force, felines can adjust their experience of gravity, but must maintain an average weight. Thus, at times they can virtually levitate, but then must make up for that by experiencing double their normal weight. For some reason, they seem prone to undergoing this greater gravitational acceleration while lying on a human chest or feet, or while stomping down a staircase.

[siderea]

I think this argues for the position that cats extend into several other dimension, in which they may at any given moment be moving in near-C speeds, and thus accounting for their subjective-to-4D sudden increase in mass.