I hear the confusion and it reminds me, to a small extent, of my own feelings and journey that began with Harriet's death six years ago. Yes, on the surface I was dealing with life and the things I had to do, but underneath was a very different story. I spent the better part of six months just wandering and drifting ... no plans, no dreams, no ambitions, no far horizons, no expectations. Truth be told, I really didn't care about much of anything, though I tried to present a braver face to the world. Two things saved me -- some wonderful friends who wouldn't let me isolate myself from the world, and a little bit of inner knowledge (?) that if I just kept on putting one foot in front of the other, eventually things would get and feel better. And eventually, they do. But you will never forget her, and your life will always be defined by the part Jane played.