The Geek Social Fallacies of Sex

[jducoeur]

Cleaning up some tabs, I am reminded of this one, linked from serakit: The Geek Social Fallacies of Sex. Like the original Geek Social Fallacies, this is mostly drawn from observations of common anti-patterns you find in the Geekosphere. None are anything like universal, but heaven knows I've observed all of them among my friends at one time or another. (Indeed, I've certainly made some of these mistakes myself.)

Worth reading and reflecting on. Indeed, I'm finding the blog in general to be interesting reading. This related post may be the simplest and most correct statement about sexuality that I have seen in many a year.

(Warning: text is, unsurprisingly, possibly NSFW.)

Comments

[unicornpearlz.livejournal.com]

That is awesome. It should be something every geek gets in high school (since not every geek goes to college).

Here's another one:

Not everyone in your friend circle wants to know about your sex life. And, if they are not interested in hearing about it, don't force it on them.

I know WAY too much about the sex lives of my friends. And, I don't want to.

And, an addendum to the kinker=better:

If your friend or partner does not want to match all of your tendancies, ask them why. They may be nervous about trying something new, having performance anxiety, or have had a bad experience that they are afraid of repeating.

I have examples, and will share privately if people are interested. But to share here would break my additional rule above.

[la-peregrina.livejournal.com]

Makes me really glad that Wilhelm and I found each other when we did. Neither of us were anywhere near casual, both about as vanilla as it gets, each of us burned by previous bad marriages but did not succumb to a "get even sex" frenzy following our respective divorces. Though it says something that it only took him five years to find someone worth taking a chance for again, and it took me 13. Those links go a long way to explaining why.

We were as close to geek grownups as we could find in each other, and I really think I'll never find his like again.

Thanks for the thoughtful links.

[zachkessin.livejournal.com]

I was having a conversation about strange geek sex practices with a friend the other day. It seems like a lot of it works on the basis of "Well I think things should be like X" and then assume that they are even if they are not.

Of course we both were kind of amused that after 10 minutes of talking about it and how dull both our sex lives were (both in many year long monogomous relationships) she finally mentions that she was gay and we were both like at this point that gets about a 1 on the weird meter.