So what *does* it feel like to lose your mind?

[jducoeur]

I have to admit, I'm starting to worry about myself a bit. For the past year or two, I've been noticing that my memory, never the best to begin with, has been slowly weakening. I've been losing words stuck to the tip of my tongue pretty often, which is unsettling for a linguaphile like myself. Just a short while ago, I managed to get two people I know entirely mixed up -- for a moment, I was quite sure that person A was person B, and managed to quite embarass myself. In general, I've simply been feeling slow and stupid altogether too often lately, not a sensation I'm used to or care for. I'm used to seeing the world with a sharp mental focus that has gotten slightly blurred of late -- I can regain it when I try, but it requires a sort of mental squint.

Realistically, it's probably just a combination of stress and lack of sleep taking a gradual toll on my head; odds seem good that, if I can overcome those, I'll bounce back. And a certain amount of slowdown is to be expected over time. But in the meantime, it's scary stuff. Flowers for Algernon was a very influential story on me when I was young, and gradually fading like that is one of the creepiest things I can imagine...

Comments

[sjo.livejournal.com]

If it's any help, you're not the only one tripping into that place. However, I've found that taking DMAE (http://www.wholehealthmd.com/refshelf/substances_view/1%2C1525%2C10023%2C00.html) supplements seems to help me, if that's any use to you.

[jducoeur]

Hmm; interesting. I'm not jumping into anything quickly, but it's useful to know how others cope...

[hfcougar.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that link... I hadn't heard about any of the ADD/ADHD connections before (although it's a topic I've barely scratched the surface of).

I've battled mild to medium ADD symptoms for years (which are rearing their head with a vengeance now that I'm back in school), but only at a couple extreme moments have they been so bad I even thought about considering Ritalin or Adderall. I didn't realize there were more holistic or "natural" things that could do anything for it.

[antoniseb.livejournal.com]

Repeating SJO's comments, you are not alone, nor first to head down this path. I do recommend more sleep, less stress, and deliberate memory exercises [learning songs, poems, lists, etc.]

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

I heard a thing in NPR a couple eyars ago about doing things like crossword puzzles seems to lessen the onset of memory related "issues". My mother and I have gotten pretty rabid about it- now that a clear family tendancy towards alzhemers has surfaced.

[jducoeur]

We don't have anything I'd call a "tendency" per se, blessedly. But my grandmother had severe dementia for her last few years, so there's clearly at least some genetic risk there -- by the time she passed away, it was a mercy. (Fortunately, the other three grandparents all managed to stay reasonably mentally spry into their 90's.)

But yes -- mental activity seems to have a lot to do with it...

[lady-guenievre.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that I'm losing my ability to remember random trivia, which used to be fairly important to me (I was on Jeopardy when I was 16, for instance). I think that <lj user="antoniseb" is right about it being something you have to work on though...use it or lose it. And going crazy / losing my intelligence, Algernon-style, has always been one of my nightmares as well.

Raises Hand

[patsmor.livejournal.com]

Count me in... For me, it's part of the PTSD syndrome, and has recurred with greater or lesser affect depending on how stressed I am.

On my doctor's recommendation, since if I take any more psychoactive drugs I'll explode like a Martian listening to Slim, I do lots of crossword puzzles and other word memory games. It may just be a comfort thing, but since Crosswords supposedly fight off Altzheimers, I'm very comforted.

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

Lack of 8 hours of sleep every night will induce memory loss and depression; it is well documented, and I can find you strong cites if you would like them. Depression manifests differently for each person, but the discontent you have mentioned in other posts made me think of it then, and now.

It's stupid to say "be less stressed" but you *can* choose to work on the sleep issue. Commit to turning out the lights at least 8 hrs before your alarm clock goes off, and keep the sleep schedule even on weekends or vacations. In a month, see where you are.

[patsmor.livejournal.com]

this has, btw, made a significant difference for me.

[jducoeur]

Been there, done (doing) that. This isn't minor insomnia, and I'm quite familiar with sleep-hygiene techniques by now. They help, but they're helping from an *extremely* poor base.

I go through periods of getting a solid eight hours or more, but I also go through stretches of multiple months at a time of six hours or less, despite following *every* technique in the book. Insomnia can be a tough nut to crack, and is deeply bound up with a lot of other issues -- sleeping habits, eating habits, exercise, mood and all inter-relate in extremely complex ways. This isn't susceptible to trivial cures: all of the aspects of the problem have to be tackled simultaneously, and that's quite tough.

Yes, I'm working on it. But I'm afraid that reminding me of the standard advice does little but make me tenser and crankier, because broadly speaking they only help a little bit...

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

Sorry; didn't know that.

[jducoeur]

I know -- sorry for the ambient crankiness. The key problem with the insomnia is that it is very strongly self-reinforcing: the single thing that amplifies it most is worrying about it. Sleep for me is sort of like the HHGttG recipe for flying: I can only do it when I'm not thinking about it...

[cvirtue.livejournal.com]

My sister has the vicious circle sleep worry problem, so she uses Ambien. I hope you can find a solution. I had twin-induced insommnia for most of a year and it sucked, so you do have a lot of sympathy from me. Not that this is much use!

[metageek.livejournal.com]

The key problem with the insomnia is that it is very strongly self-reinforcing: the single thing that amplifies it most is worrying about it.

Been there--often enough that Cynthia and I now have a term for it: "hamstering" (which is when your brain keeps spinning over the same problem with no gain, like a hamster in a wheel).

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

It's part of aging, part of stress... as everyone says.

I went through that post-bypass. It seems that, basically unnoticed for years, was a common side-effect of bypass surgery - loss of mental acuity.

I can tell that I'm one of the victims of that. My formerly amazing ability with names is gone, and there are gaps in my memory of certain details in life.

You live with it. My capacity for joy is not gone, so I'm OK.

[vonstrassburg.livejournal.com]

There are three signs that you're getting old.

The first is that you lose your memory.

I forgot what the other two are.

[oakleaf-mirror.livejournal.com]

To quote a former Vice President: What a terrible thing it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind. How true that is!

Seriously, I'm right there with you on the horror of a Flowers for Algernon situation.

That said, it may well be lack of sleep, and stress. If you can fix those, and the problem doesn't go away, you might want to see your doctor about it.

[herooftheage.livejournal.com]

And of course, the life extension people all have an opinion on chemical help. I take a combination that Durk Pearson/Sandy Shaw (the most sensible of the life extension researchers, I think) developed. It is a combo of galantimine, green tea extract, still more Vitamins C & E, tumeric root, some of the B complex vitamins, and just a touch of lithium (!?)

It seems to help me, though you should go do your own research. The product name in Galantamind Plus, but of course the researching should be independant of that.

[(Anonymous)]

With some similar phenomena myself, I went to the doctor and got a complete physical. One thing that came of that was the information that I had an elevated blood calcium level, which can cause foggy thinking and memory problems as well as other physical side effects. To make a long story short, I was diagnosed with hyperparathyroidism (the parathyroid gland which controls blood calcium is overactive) and this is something that can (and will shortly) be fixed surgically.

So I would strongly suggest talking to an MD about these symptoms. And if your MD doesn't take them seriously, find one that does.

I haven't told a lot of people about this upcoming surgery and I'd hate for someone who knows me to get the news from your comment thread, which is why I'm going anonymous. But I'd be happy to email more info if you are interested. I'll check back to this thread to see.

[jducoeur]

Interesting. While I'm inclined to start with the theory that it's mainly due to the insomnia problems, that's a sidebar that I should keep in mind. I'd be interested to hear how the surgery does for you...

[querldox.livejournal.com]

Having seen what happened with both my grandmother's dementia and my stepfather's Alzheimer's, and having long considered my mind to be my defining trait, I decided a while back that when I reach a certain age, I'll get what amounts to the classic "suicide pill". Which I will place on my nightstand with a note attached to the bottle saying "If you don't remember why this bottle is here, take the pill in it". I don't want to live like that.

But, alas, the general slowdown seems to be generic. Related to Jeopardy!, one of the best players ever, Leszek P. (hard to spell last name), a Tournament of Champions winner, has mentioned on the J! message boards in relation to the current Ultimate Tournament of Champions that his recall speed has dropped around a quarter of a second in recent years.