Entertainment at Events, part 2: Entertaining Yourself

[jducoeur]

Okay, so picking up where the previous essay left off. The first one was addressed to the activity leaders trying to involve the bored people. This one's addressed at the bored people themselves.

Why are you waiting for someone to entertain you?

Really, it's an important question, because it goes to the heart of the Society. One of the most common questions I answer is, "What's the difference between the SCA and a Ren Faire?" And while there are a bunch of potential answers, the one that I think really matters is that we are oriented around participation, where a faire is oriented around entertainment. The core of that difference is that, at a Faire, there's always someone there who is supposed to entertain you; in the Society, you're largely responsible for entertaining yourself.

I've been doing the SCA continuously for well over 20 years. The way I keep that fun over so much time is by being always aware of this: the SCA is exactly as much fun as you make it for yourself. If you wait for someone to come along and *make* fun for you, you're going to spend most of your time bored. There will be some high points, but really -- we are *not* about making your entertainment.

This is the secret of pretty much all hardcore members of the Society, the ones who really enjoy it over the long haul: we are all *active* about our fun. We don't sit there passively, we work at having fun. It's really not hard to do, but it does take a little practice.

The most important part of this is finding activities that you *like* to do. The more, the better, frankly -- the way I keep having fun over so much time is that I've developed a taste for many, many different activities. I'm not particularly *good* at most of them, but I enjoy *doing* them all. So almost no matter the event, I can find a way to have fun somehow.

Which activities work for you depends a lot on you. If you prefer something quieter and more gently social, you're likely to enjoy some sort of handwork. Fiber arts are especially popular in this regard -- anything from portable looms and drop-spindles to kumihimo. (If fiber is insufficiently macho for you, trichinopoly is a popular option: basically fiber arts in silver wire.) Helping with the kitchen is a *fine* way to socialize as much or as little as you want -- they always need help, and it's a great way to get to know people. (Helping with the dishes is an even better way to get to know folks and earn good karma.) If you like being loud, find a tournament and help herald it. If you have an organizational bent, there is always prey out there, waiting to be organized. If you like working up a sweat, hie thyself to some armor or fencing garb. And if you like performance, Carolingia has a host of options available to you.

And yes -- games are a *great* way to entertain yourself. I am never without a deck of cards, so my fallback is always to pull it out, grab some other people who seem to be bored, and play something. Combine that with a portable chess set or backgammon board (or, pace Kobayashi, a Go set), and you have a lot of options. Seriously: if you find yourself bored, and you don't yet know any games, grab one or more people, find me and ask me to teach you something. Occasionally I won't have time right now, but I am always happy to be asked, and usually I can spare a few minutes to provide some instruction. I'm even about to put together a set of "cheat cards", so if you kind of know a game but not quite perfectly, I may be able to hand you the rules for an hour. (And if you'd like me to come teach something to a group some weeknight, drop me a note and we can work something out.)

But really: it's your responsibility to make your fun. This is why we have all those practices all the time -- come to some and try them out. *All* of them are basically about teaching you a way to have fun, whether it be needlework or fighting or singing or throwing axes at things. If you do a broad selection of them for a little while, and take responsibility for your own good time, you will never be bored at an event again, because you'll have enough tools at your disposal to avoid it...

Comments

[umbran.livejournal.com]

While I can (and do) take my crafting to events, it isn't like that's the best, or even a particularly good, place to do them. If my major source of enjoyment at an event is going to be something I could do (perhaps better, and more easily) at home, why am I at the event? I don't have to be in a crowd of strangely dressed people to entertain myself!

One does not go to events to do things one can do better elsewhere. One goes to events to socialize, or communicate, or do things that you cannot do as well at home (like dance). The crafting, or game playing, or what have you are merely vehicles to carry you through to the other things.

[jducoeur]

Absolutely true, and a good point. Related to this, though, it should be noted that most activities, even the apparently solitary ones, are often fine social lubricants. When you're doing something that looks interesting, it is pretty common for others to come over and talk about it...

yes, but...

[patsmor.livejournal.com]

The portable crafts, like embroidery, knitting, drop spinning, mail-making, leather-work, and on and on are things that help occupy your hands, start conversations, and, as you said, carry you through other things. But for me I find that things that keep my hands busy help me stay focused on the other things that are going on, like fighting or demos and so on. I enjoy that it encourages people to walk up and ask questions. It certainly helps me keep my cool in meetings when I really want to strangle someone!

I, too, explain the difference between the SCA and Ren Faire as "we play, instead of watch."

It amazes some people, but I enjoy finding the kitchen and washing dishes or helping out, even when folks don't know me. As a peer, I'm working: it helps me find out what's going on (not only the gossip, but I learn what the feast cooks are doing, what they know, how the dynamics are between them and their volunteers). But in general kitchens can be fun -- good music, you can inspire folks to sing easy songs, and you get to meet lots of new people -- both folks you don't know and folks who are new to the event.

(When I was visiting at Boar's Head in Northshield in early December, on a visit to the kitchen to chat with a friend briefly, I ran across a young man who was, by other's comments to him, a relative newcomer, and whom I had seen helping and running around all day. At the end of the day, when the feast set-up was happening, he was still running around working hard, so I stopped and gave him one of the Celtic bracelets I was wearing and thanked him for all his hard work. I remember during my first year in the society something similar happened to me -- I have never known who it was, but it's one of those jewel-like moments in my head. I want to give that gift to others.)

Re: yes, but...

[umbran.livejournal.com]

But for me I find that things that keep my hands busy help me stay focused on the other things that are going on, like fighting or demos and so on.

Alas, for me, this is not the case. In general, I'm working on a craft, or I'm paying attention to the rest of the universe. I find if I bring even simple hand-work to court, for example, I wind up not paying any attention to court.

It amazes some people, but I enjoy finding the kitchen and washing dishes or helping out, even when folks don't know me.

Agreed. If being somewhat social among new folks, or being helpful, are among your goals for the day, the kitchen is certainly a good place to try. I have had the unfortunate experience of being rebuffed at the kitchen door a couple of times with a "No, we don't need any more hands, thanks," but these have been in the minority.

Unfortunately, I haven't heard music in most of the kitchens I've been in. I expect that's to keep the noise level down somewhat, but it is still a bit less fun for the lack.

Re: yes, but...

[jducoeur]

Actually, we just plain haven't been all that musical locally for the past decade or so -- specifically, there just hasn't been all that much spontaneous bardery. (It was never a key focus here the way it is in some places out west, but there used to be *more*.)

Don't know precisely why; it's something I'd love to see change. Nothing livens things up like some music...

Re: yes, but...

[serakit.livejournal.com]

Well, if anybody were teaching SCA songs, that might be a plus. I love to sing and I even have a decent voice if all I'm following is a general tune, but I don't know any non-Mundane songs!

Re: yes, but...

[jducoeur]

Yeah -- this used to be common at post-revels, but we haven't had enough of those recently. Something to work on...

Re: yes, but...

[shalmestere.livejournal.com]

When I work in a kitchen, music happens, because I like to sing :-)

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

I brought my loom to 12th Night, and spent most of the day at a table, working on my weaving. Everyone I wanted to talk to eventually found me, and a lot of people came by to see what I was doing, and talk about it, or ask about it, and the like. It was about the perfect way to spend the afternoon.

[umbran.livejournal.com]

Exactly - that's the "carry through to other things" I'm talking about.

But, as part of having realistic expectations - someone new to Carolingia won't have nearly the same experience. Yes, some folks may stop by and chat about the project, but if they're expecting to become the center of a social swarm, or just constantly engaged in chatting, that is highly unlikely. Your experience is predicated on already knowing and having a lot of folks to talk to.

[rufinia.livejournal.com]

It was about half and half between "people I knew" and "people I didn't know who wanted to know about what going on."

Hm. I wonder if trying to set up a "fiber geeking corner" at an event would be worht doing...

[herooftheage.livejournal.com]

I think you've hit on one of the real advantages the fighters all have in the SCA, regardless of type - we all know that the best way to get the maximal enjoyment of the activity is to do it a lot. Even with lots of teaching and organization to help the fighter out, the individual has to be responsible for showing up and participating, or else risk just getting run over in the lists or in the scrums.