Every time you think the world has hit its limits of goofiness...

[jducoeur]

... the world proves you wrong. Thanks to TechCrunch for the pointer to Information Age Prayer, a new online service that uses text-to-speech technology to say your prayers for you on a regular basis.

No, I'm not kidding. Far as I can tell, this thing is serious. (Possibly fraudulent -- I can't really see how to check that they're really doing this -- but serious.)

They even have specials! For instance, the Complete Jewish Discount Package, including "Morning and Evening Shema, 5 Get Well Prayers and a Prayer for Peace, only $25.95 each Month". Such a bargain!

Comments

[goldsquare.livejournal.com]

Soulless Commerce.

[learnedax.livejournal.com]

The specific form is new, and funny, but the idea of automated prayer is actually extremely old, at least in Tibet: the prayer wheel and prayer flag essentially function on the idea that the prayers are good no matter what force motivates them. It's rather elegant extension of principles into the world, I think - although it's worth noting that ordinarily the wind carries the blessing for mantras it breathes into the world, rather than the flag-maker, much less the flag buyer. Still, the overall blessing of the world is mechanically increased, which is in and of itself considered a spiritual positive, I believe.

(In Lord of Light motorized prayer wheels are used to build up blessing energy in a Van der Graaf generator setup, which I also find elegant, if a bit perverse.)

[lauradi7.livejournal.com]

Makes as much sense to me as endowing a chantry.
I had an immediate flash to Clarke's "Nine Billion Names of God," in which a computer was just cranking out the title names, more or less, not actually reciting prayers, but it's related.

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

I suppose it depends on what you think a prayer is.

Any visitor-from-another-planet arguments about why this is goofier than more traditional prayers?

[metageek.livejournal.com]

Regular prayers have an effect on the petitioner's mental state; they could, possibly, lead him to think about what he's praying for, and help him solve his problem. Noticing a $25.95 charge on the Visa statement every month won't do that.

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

Ok. But I would call that meditation.

[metageek.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah, but many of the people who pray wouldn't; they'd see it as God answering their prayer with advice.

[corwyn-ap.livejournal.com]

Right. It was that that I was hoping to get an explanation for.

What is the difference between a) thinking a petition to God, b) saying one, c) having another person say one for you, and d) having a machine say one for you? (aside from the $29.95). In other words, convince a visitor from another planet that one (or more) makes sense, and another doesn't.

[metageek.livejournal.com]

Mmm, a believer might say that the difference is how much effort you're expending, on the theory that, if it's too easy, you don't deserve help. It's not a magic spell, it's an appeal to God's mercy, begging him to intervene for you. If you don't take it seriously, why should he?

Although I suppose there might be religions that believe that the purpose of prayer is to ensure that the gods have lots of prayers to listen to, like a celestial iPod. For them, a prayer machine would make plenty of sense.

[metageek.livejournal.com]

What I wonder is, do they actually have speakers hooked up, or do they rely on God hearing the electrons flow in the sound card?

If they do have speakers, do they play each prayer independently, or do they send them all out together? The resulting babble would be incomprehensible to a human, but no different from hearing a billion once.

[metageek.livejournal.com]

do they actually have speakers hooked up,

OK, here's the answer: at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying..

This part is hilarious

[metageek.livejournal.com]

Houses of prayer are an integral part of our subscribers connection with God, so we donate 10% of revenue from subscriptions to verified 501(c)(3) charities.

There seems to be a disconnect there. :-)