Funeral arrangements
Jan. 30th, 2011 10:36 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jducoeur[Forward-dating this entry so that it will show up at the top until the funeral.]
I'm still working out the details over the next several days, but the broad plan is shaping up (I just got the call that I needed), and I believe folks can start planning around it.
So: assuming nothing snafus, Jane's funeral will be held at Houghton Chapel at Wellesley College, next Sunday (January 30th) at 1pm. We have the chapel reserved until 3, so groups that wish to do ceremonies (eg, Eastern Star) will have time to do so.
That's a bit further out from her death than I might have preferred, but it seems like the best date -- many friends will already be in the area for Birka, so it'll be easier for people to pay their respects. (And I can just hear her telling me that it's better to take a couple of extra days to get it right, rather than do something hasty and slapdash.)
The past day has largely been about chasing down the right people to call at Wellesley to make this happen: Houghton was special to her (it's where we got married), and it's big enough to hold as many people as care to come. I had a moment of panic yesterday, when I realized that the funeral home would really only hold 110 people, and that probably wasn't anywhere near enough. Houghton, by contrast, can hold 400 just in the central section (and more in the wings), so I can say with confidence that anyone who would like to come should do so.
I'll put out finer-grained details over the next week (directions and such), but folks should begin to plan on this basis. Please pass the word to anyone who should know.
The interment will proably be the following Monday morning; that's likely to be a smaller affair, but close friends and family who wish to be there will be welcome. And I'm tentatively planning for a memorial service -- a proper celebration of her life, once enough time has passed for the shock of her death to wear off a little -- in the spring.
I'm still working out the details over the next several days, but the broad plan is shaping up (I just got the call that I needed), and I believe folks can start planning around it.
So: assuming nothing snafus, Jane's funeral will be held at Houghton Chapel at Wellesley College, next Sunday (January 30th) at 1pm. We have the chapel reserved until 3, so groups that wish to do ceremonies (eg, Eastern Star) will have time to do so.
That's a bit further out from her death than I might have preferred, but it seems like the best date -- many friends will already be in the area for Birka, so it'll be easier for people to pay their respects. (And I can just hear her telling me that it's better to take a couple of extra days to get it right, rather than do something hasty and slapdash.)
The past day has largely been about chasing down the right people to call at Wellesley to make this happen: Houghton was special to her (it's where we got married), and it's big enough to hold as many people as care to come. I had a moment of panic yesterday, when I realized that the funeral home would really only hold 110 people, and that probably wasn't anywhere near enough. Houghton, by contrast, can hold 400 just in the central section (and more in the wings), so I can say with confidence that anyone who would like to come should do so.
I'll put out finer-grained details over the next week (directions and such), but folks should begin to plan on this basis. Please pass the word to anyone who should know.
The interment will proably be the following Monday morning; that's likely to be a smaller affair, but close friends and family who wish to be there will be welcome. And I'm tentatively planning for a memorial service -- a proper celebration of her life, once enough time has passed for the shock of her death to wear off a little -- in the spring.
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(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 04:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 04:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 05:35 pm (UTC)You have my thoughts with you, and hugs from many.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 06:33 pm (UTC)We love you.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 06:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 06:40 pm (UTC)My email is waxtablet@gmail.com
My cell phone is 207-831-8491.
ETA: This may well be something the funeral home does as a standard part of their services, but if you want something more personalized I'll be happy to help.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 08:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 08:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 09:15 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:34 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 09:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 09:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 09:28 pm (UTC)A flickr group would make a nice public group. Another way might simply to be to set up a gmail account (unlimited size for attachments) and then a google doc for tracking. I think it depends on the goal: have public viewing available, or get larger format images that can be easily printed.
- SCA
- OES
- Work (??)
- College friends
- family photos
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 09:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-23 02:09 pm (UTC)I'm glad somebody's working on this.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:33 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:32 pm (UTC)Also, (this sounds weird) I have an online friend who is a funeral director in New Orleans, and his standard advice is for the family member making the arrangements to take a mostly disinterested third party with them, to act as a buffer for obvious nickel-and-diming.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:38 pm (UTC)Most of the damage is already done (and to be fair, the worst of it is the big-ticket items like the casket), but it was a reminder that haggling isn't my strong suit at the best of times...
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 11:43 pm (UTC)I assumed I'd be in the office today and the unending string of snow days is really throwing me off - I have significant trouble even knowing what day it is right now.
Good call on passing on the prayer cards. Some people may miss them, but my experience is that the vast majority of them get recycled (at best) or thrown out (at worst), other than a very small number tucked into drawers by family members. (My very Catholic biological family hoards them like trading cards and it always struck me as morbid.)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 11:59 pm (UTC)In practice, the funeral parlor deals with damned near everything -- that's part of the nickel-and-diming service, but mostly why they charge a mammoth fee upfront. (They were good enough to check on the color of the flowers upfront, though. "Most people prefer pastels." "No.")
And I definitely agree about the morbidness with the prayer cards. The whole notion squicked me slightly, and I definitely think it doesn't suit Jane...
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 08:32 pm (UTC)If you can think of anything I can do for you to help, please let me know.
Li and I would be glad to offer a place to stay, if 1 or 2 folks from away need crash space so they can attend. (Send us the cat-loving musicians who smoke...)
Hugs,
Ygraine
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-21 10:31 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-22 01:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-22 10:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-27 10:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-28 05:51 am (UTC)