Rules of Waterbearing

[jducoeur]

In light of the Board's proposed deregulation of waterbearing, one of my friends in someone else's journal asked what the previous regulations had been. Having answered her there, it occurs to me that this would be a public service to list those rules here, just so everyone knows what's being changed.

The rules are very simple:

• The water bottle must be properly wrapped in duct tape.


• You must also be wrapped in duct tape.


• Note that the duct tape rules are, of course, specifically for water bottles to be used in heavy list. Water bottles for fencing must be wrapped in three layers of trigger cloth, with non-overlapping seams.


• The water bottle must be constructed of at least 16-gauge steel, or other materials that are demonstrably of similar strength.


• Water bottles constructed of chain mail are not permitted.


• You must not bear water in an offensive manner.


• Squirting water at fighters from a distance is not permitted. However, there is a new experimental "water balloon" program that is exploring this; contact your Kingdom Water Marshall if you wish to participate.


• Before taking the field as a waterbearer, you must be authorized, by demonstrating your skill in front of three Water Marshalls.


• If you want to bear *Gatorade*, that is of course a separate authorization.

You're welcome.

(Can you tell it's been a long week? I knew you could...)