jducoeur

[Happy birthday to _lackey_!]

As I happen to scan around the various iTunes music libraries on the network here at work (three out of four of which would answer "Yes" below), I am inspired to run a simple poll.

[Poll #1449834]

So this XKCD comic:

does lead naturally to the question of: what does the Wikipedia Halting Problem look like? That is, is it always possible, based on the topic, to decide whether a given Wikipedia article will ever settle down and stop being the subject of edit wars? Or can you prove that this is formally undecideable?

In light of the Board's proposed deregulation of waterbearing, one of my friends in someone else's journal asked what the previous regulations had been. Having answered her there, it occurs to me that this would be a public service to list those rules here, just so everyone knows what's being changed.

The rules are very simple:

• The water bottle must be properly wrapped in duct tape.


• You must also be wrapped in duct tape.


• Note that the duct tape rules are, of course, specifically for water bottles to be used in heavy list. Water bottles for fencing must be wrapped in three layers of trigger cloth, with non-overlapping seams.


• The water bottle must be constructed of at least 16-gauge steel, or other materials that are demonstrably of similar strength.


• Water bottles constructed of chain mail are not permitted.


• You must not bear water in an offensive manner.


• Squirting water at fighters from a distance is not permitted. However, there is a new experimental "water balloon" program that is exploring this; contact your Kingdom Water Marshall if you wish to participate.


• Before taking the field as a waterbearer, you must be authorized, by demonstrating your skill in front of three Water Marshalls.


• If you want to bear *Gatorade*, that is of course a separate authorization.

You're welcome.

(Can you tell it's been a long week? I knew you could...)

There are as many ways of organizing the year as there are fellowships in this world. Most modern people think in terms of a solar year, starting on January 1st. SCAdians celebrate the same solar year, but place their New Year's celebration on May 1st. Some people bring in lunar years, producing calendars that are wonders of complex delight.

Personally, as many of you know, I am of the Lebovite faith -- The Followers of the Button. Our days are measured and regulated by The Button: it is our I Ching and our Karma, giving us insight into the day to come, and sometimes providing commentary of the finest snarkitude when we come to the end of the day and reflect. We do not choose our Button: rather, it chooses us randomly each morning, as we are drawn to the correct Button for the coming day.

Of course, all good disciples of The Button arrange their year around it. This makes the Lebovite calendar particularly esoteric: rather than a Solar or Lunar year, we follow the Button year. We know that the year has ended when we complete the Cycle of The Buttons, taking the last one from the Inbox and placing it into the now-filled Outbox. We celebrate not with food nor alcohol, but with the ritual Counting of the Buttons, that we may have some clue how long the next year will be. (Of course, this is an inexact process, as Nancy graces us each year with more buttons, but it gives us at least a minimum length of the year.) We take the buttons from the Outbox and return them to the Inbox, praying as we do so that the Buttons bite us not with their sharp prongs, but will grace us with a good year, and counting them as we do so. As a longstanding Follower of the Button, I find that my upcoming year is to be at least 564 days long: surely, I am blessed.

Mind, I am rather catholic in my tastes and proclivities, so it should not be surprising that I am not *exclusively* Lebovite. As many of you know, I am also a devout Foglian: those who would follow The Blimp and Raygun. Unlike the Lebovites, the Foglians have a singular deity, which is of course The Winslow. As it is said, "The Winslow is the exact shape and size of the Perfect Lizard of Love, which, of course, is the Winslow."

Being both a Lebovite and Foglian, I therefore celebrate the New Year with an additional rite: The Wearing of the Winslow. As a member of the ancient Foglian faith (and Keeper of Stuff), I possess the sacred Winslow Cloisonne, mark of the inner priesthood of Lebovite Foglians. On this holiest of days, it is taken from its box while performing The Counting of the Buttons, and worn as an invocation, that the mysterious but all-powerful Winslow shall give us good fortune in the nearly-600-day year to come...

Thanks to shalmestre (by way of learnedax, who pointed it out to me) for this pointer to Shaenon Garrity's rendition of Edward Gorey adapting The Trouble With Tribbles. It's disturbingly well-done, on all levels...