The reason for medical technical jargon...

[jducoeur]

... is clearly to make conditions sound more dignified and interesting than they really are. In the case at hand, "extracting a Cerumen Impaction" sounds ever so much better than, "We removed a plug of earwax the size of a Tootsie Roll from each ear". But at least I can hear again. (And suddenly realize that my hearing's only been around 70% for months now...)

Comments

Jargon

[metageek.livejournal.com]

I knew a guy in Ponte Alto who told the story of going to a doctor with white spots on his hands. The doctor looked at them and said, "You have idiosyncratic punctuate leukosis.". "So...I have white spots, and you don't know why?" "...well, yeah."

Re: Jargon

[baron-steffan.livejournal.com]

Oh that's good! The same thing happened to me, pretty much. I used to work across the street from an otolaryngologist, and one time I developed a sort of "click" in my throat. Didn't know what it was, but it didn't feel like an infection. It was just...weird. So I happened to mention to the doc when he was in the pharmacy, that I had something wrong with my throat, I didn't know what, but that it probably wasn't an infection. And he send "Come on over". So after work, I did. He did a brief exam, and scheduled work at Mass Eye and Ear, where he was a clinical professor. So at MEEI, I get a battery of tests, including fluoroscopes (video xrays) of my throat while swallowing barium. The results come back. Idiopathic Aseptic Epiglottitis. I said to him, "Doc, I'm in the field, I know that's Greek for 'You have something wrong with your throat, I don't know what it is, but it isn't an infection'"

I probably should have just gone to Berlitz %^).

EPILOGUE

I think he gave me a course of prednisone or suchlike. But it came back. I went back to MEEI. He was about to irradiate my noggin again when a resident came in and said "We could use the MashitaScope". And my guy -- the professor -- says "You'll have to show me how to use it". Right. Just what I wanted to hear. Turns out there are two of these on the planet and MEEI has one. They cost in the six figures. It looks like a Dymo Label Maker with a fiber optic cable sticking out of the "muzzle". And now I'm a celebrity, with a crowd of excited residents around me.

But at least I had a good time. My guy's old school. Doesn't like dibucaine for an anesthetic. So he sticks a cotton pledget in my nostril. It's soaked in 10% cocaine solution. That I had made for him.

Re: Jargon

[jducoeur]

I'll have you know that this story was nearly responsible for killing one of your students. Reading it aloud to msmemory left her giggling so hard she could barely breathe...

Re: Jargon

[baron-steffan.livejournal.com]

It's all true. Mind, this was back in the 80's, when I bought USP-grade coke (legally) for 28 bucks an ounce. The story may have made msmemory giggle, but when I told a certain Martian commando who lived nearby at the time, it darn near made him cry %^). I doubt any ENT guys use coke solution any more; it's appreciated many orders of magnitude since then due to the "war on drugs" and the Afghanistan situation.

A sidebar to the story is that while he's shoving coke-bombs up my nose he's commenting to his residents that the patient is a pharmacist and asking me my opinions on the efficacy of the anesthetic. "Yeah, doc, my professional assessment is that...this is, like...awesome!"