The reason for medical technical jargon...

[jducoeur]

... is clearly to make conditions sound more dignified and interesting than they really are. In the case at hand, "extracting a Cerumen Impaction" sounds ever so much better than, "We removed a plug of earwax the size of a Tootsie Roll from each ear". But at least I can hear again. (And suddenly realize that my hearing's only been around 70% for months now...)

Comments

Re: Jargon

[baron-steffan.livejournal.com]

Oh that's good! The same thing happened to me, pretty much. I used to work across the street from an otolaryngologist, and one time I developed a sort of "click" in my throat. Didn't know what it was, but it didn't feel like an infection. It was just...weird. So I happened to mention to the doc when he was in the pharmacy, that I had something wrong with my throat, I didn't know what, but that it probably wasn't an infection. And he send "Come on over". So after work, I did. He did a brief exam, and scheduled work at Mass Eye and Ear, where he was a clinical professor. So at MEEI, I get a battery of tests, including fluoroscopes (video xrays) of my throat while swallowing barium. The results come back. Idiopathic Aseptic Epiglottitis. I said to him, "Doc, I'm in the field, I know that's Greek for 'You have something wrong with your throat, I don't know what it is, but it isn't an infection'"

I probably should have just gone to Berlitz %^).

EPILOGUE

I think he gave me a course of prednisone or suchlike. But it came back. I went back to MEEI. He was about to irradiate my noggin again when a resident came in and said "We could use the MashitaScope". And my guy -- the professor -- says "You'll have to show me how to use it". Right. Just what I wanted to hear. Turns out there are two of these on the planet and MEEI has one. They cost in the six figures. It looks like a Dymo Label Maker with a fiber optic cable sticking out of the "muzzle". And now I'm a celebrity, with a crowd of excited residents around me.

But at least I had a good time. My guy's old school. Doesn't like dibucaine for an anesthetic. So he sticks a cotton pledget in my nostril. It's soaked in 10% cocaine solution. That I had made for him.

Re: Jargon

[jducoeur]

I'll have you know that this story was nearly responsible for killing one of your students. Reading it aloud to msmemory left her giggling so hard she could barely breathe...

Re: Jargon

[baron-steffan.livejournal.com]

It's all true. Mind, this was back in the 80's, when I bought USP-grade coke (legally) for 28 bucks an ounce. The story may have made msmemory giggle, but when I told a certain Martian commando who lived nearby at the time, it darn near made him cry %^). I doubt any ENT guys use coke solution any more; it's appreciated many orders of magnitude since then due to the "war on drugs" and the Afghanistan situation.

A sidebar to the story is that while he's shoving coke-bombs up my nose he's commenting to his residents that the patient is a pharmacist and asking me my opinions on the efficacy of the anesthetic. "Yeah, doc, my professional assessment is that...this is, like...awesome!"